My name is Siyani Sheth. I’m 17 years old and a drama scholar at my school. I have written this play to share a personal story about my struggles with mental illness, hoping it will help other teenagers speak up and seek help, as well as parents, families and communities to talk about this urgent issue.
I started noticing things going downhill at 14, but pushed it down until it became too much to ignore. I was constantly low, I couldn’t sleep, I wasn’t eating, and yet I was running myself into the ground trying to get the highest grades possible. We went to lots of unhelpful doctors that told us it was just puberty, and I then finally got diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder, and started self-harming as a way to cope.
Christmas 2021 was when I made my first attempt at ending my life. It was a waste of time going to A&E, which is what I was told to do. Things kept spiralling until I was sent away by my psychiatrist to a mental health clinic for 2 and a half months. The clinic was the most confronting experience I’ve ever had, but I also made friends there that understood how I felt, and that could relate to me. I got back, having learnt a lot about myself, and initially I was doing well, however, I soon found myself spiralling yet again.
At the point of an overdose in December 2022, I had hit my rock bottom, and finally realised that I couldn’t keep living like this. I got a new therapist, and began working on myself, and it was really tough, but I started to see myself getting out of the dark cloud I’d been under for the past 3 years. That’s when I decided to write this play.
Throughout my journey, I felt incredibly alone, despite being surrounded by people who love me, which hugely magnified my illness. I don’t want people to have to feel that level of isolation with the things they’re dealing with and with this in mind, I decided to share my story in the hopes that I could help others feel less alone and relate to the things I say. I think families, schools, and communities need to take mental health seriously and talk about it openly in a way that just isn’t happening at the moment.
I came across the word ‘exulansis’, which means ‘the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it’, and I thought it was perfect for what I was trying to convey. ‘The Expulsion of Exulansis’ is the eradication of that tendency through sharing and being vulnerable and truthful with others.
The South East Asian community rarely talks about mental health. I think because of the immense struggles our ancestors faced, anything that wasn’t physical wasn’t seen as a viable issue, thus adding to the generational trauma. Because their parents didn’t talk about mental health, adults replicated the same treatment with their children, which then was passed on further through the generations.
Another big thing in the South East Asian community is the pressure to succeed. The social pressure of having to appear in a certain way, achieve a certain amount, pressure from elders that made huge sacrifices for their kids and expect too much. This pressure, again passed down through generations, is intense and put a strain on the mental health of many that then wasn’t spoken about.
I want my play to be part of starting the conversation about mental health in the South Asian community. I want to show that mental illness is just as prevalent in our culture as in any other, it just isn’t spoken about, and it should be.
I want this play to raise awareness about the struggles young people face from a teenage perspective. I want it to reach young people, and help them feel less alone in their pain, but also to adults and parents to show the things that happen that might not be seen by them. I want to show teenagers that are suffering that there is help and there is hope. I want it to educate and enlighten those that maybe aren’t aware of the faults of the current UK mental health system and the way society as a whole treats teenagers suffering with mental illnesses.
As a bare minimum I want South East Asian families to know that you can come from a good home, have loving parents, go to a good school, etc and still suffer with mental illness – you can’t just fix it with nutrition, supplements and prayers. I want this play to begin this conversation, to encourage parents to talk about their feelings, fears and anxieties; to create an environment in which children can speak up and ask for help without fear of judgement or disappointment.
Please buy tickets and share with your friends, family and colleagues too. Join the conversation!
The address for venue is: Studio Spaces, 110 Pennington Street, # Unit 2, London, EIW 2BB (nearest stations Shadwell / Aldgate East, Parking nearby):The timings are: 7pm – 10pm
For tickets: https://the-expulsion-of-exulansis-play.eventbrite.com
website: https://the-expulsion-of-exulansis.com
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